My children quickly figured me out.
I’m not going to lie to you, my ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answer to my children’s wants… such as toys and apps and coins and stuff depends on my, well… moods, budget, behavior, bribery, and many more different reasons that can play into it. I’m rarely a hard no. But when I bust out that hard no, my children knows I mean business and they back off. It cracks me up the dynamic we have when I try to explain it to you guys. We really have a good relationship as far as communicating ourselves at one point or another. I know a lot of alchemy plays into the trust we build with each other… So we have fun.
Well, My daughter was a little hesitant to ask me for this toy she really has been wanting. And this kid does not ask for much. She is humble, she realizes to save money and not very instant gratification type of kid like my son. So after telling her story, how she’s been wanting to ask for this toy but she was afraid I’d say no. So therefore, she just really didn’t ask until I would tell her she can get a toy. I say that’s a pretty damn good child.
This idea that she withheld to ask me for something she really wanted, somehow it made me a proud mom moment. Because patience is a virtue and it can be a valuable lesson she can later use in life. However, the idea of her being afraid I was going to say no, which probably held off the asking longer, really pulls on my heart string. That was a little bit hard to swallow.
I told my daughter that, “Sophia, you can always ask me anything, anytime, and that the worst thing I can say is no. But what if I said yes?”
My son added, “Yeah Sophia, why do you think I ask mom all the time for so many things, you never know when she’s going to say yes. Sometimes mom says, no, and later, says yes. So if you really want it don’t be afraid to ask.”
Did you just read what my son said about me? Did he just say I’m a push over? Well sometimes I am sometimes I’m not. But, you know he is right. My son asks for alot of stuff, because, for one, he is a child. Secondly, a lot of things catches his curiosity and sense of wonder and to have it requires mom buying it. So he asks, and asks and asks and ask.
There are rare occasions that I would get annoyed with his constant asking, and it is mostly because it is of ‘wrong timing’, like if I’m in the middle of a conversation with someone, that really gets to me. He will get the look of death.
You know as parents, we have been a community of Yes-parenting style because for ages, parents said no to their children so much. It was not easy to get a yes from parents. To which then created some suppression and oppression and revolt within the consciousness which then we came to the yes, yes, yes, much more free-willy parenting style, which I think, is an over-correcting of the energy, but that energy is what then creates balance. So in the bigger picture I get it.
But with my children, I try to be unpredictable. I will have my yes moments, and I will have my no moments. And I really think because my son has asked for many things, I have been subjected to set some boundaries for me and him, that I can say no and not feel bad about it. Win win.
I will always, well, mostly have a good reason for my decision. I’m always prepared to be questioned by my children and mostly open to discussing it, if, given the time to do it. They like to do it right before bedtime when they’ve had all day. Or when I’m dropping them off to school and they need to get out of the car or they’ll be late.
Although my daughter has asked for a lot more here and there, she still restrains herself for those toys that she knows will just be a waste of our money because she will probably not play with it after she gets it. And this is what this child told me. Pretty smart observation of yourself my dear daughter. I love she has such a good heart.
I’m such a proud mom that my children are quite aware of their behavior, habits, their thinking and sometimes they hear themselves talk and we just look at each other and laugh and laugh and laugh. We catch each other sometimes just mumbling whatever that don’t make sense and it cracks us up. And of course when emotions run high, we have a way of diffusing it one way or another.